"In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea."

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast."

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."

"This is an important announcement. This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be a perfect time to disembark."

"Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of."

"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, and sings the words without the tune, and never stops at all."

"It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings."

"One of the amusements of idleness is reading without the fatigue of attention, and the world, therefore, swarms with writers whose wish is not to be studied but to be read."

"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy which sustained him through temporary periods of joy."

"The Greeks invented logic but were not fooled by it."

"Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of."